Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I may be too crazy to have a boyfriend.

Happy belated St. Patrick's Day everyone!! I hope you all threw back some Guiness while I slaved away at work.

So, last night after my traditional Irish feast with the family and a quick workout I had planned on a nice, quiet evening at home with BF finishing movies he insisted on renting over the weekend. I partied a little hard this weekend and was quite content with skipping out on the St. Pat's festivities. Yesterday afternoon he informs me he is going to happy hour and invites me along. I decline, and ask him if he wants to adjust our plans so that I can adjust the rest of my night - he says no.

Fast forward to 7:30 when I am getting out the shower and into my pjs (he was supposed to come over at 8) when he texts, tells me he is too drunk to drive home and let's link up tomorrow, hope that's ok. Like hell that's ok. So, since he was at maproom, and so were my girlfriends, and since there is no way I am sitting at home by myself after I had planned my whole night around him I text him to tell him I am coming out. He is fine with this. When I got there things were awkward though. I was just so annoyed that I couldn't hide it. I clung to my girls and tried to have a great time with them.

He felt awful (b/c I was doing a great job of making him feel awful) about the whole situation.

I really don't care about him hanging out with his friends. I trust him 100%. He goes to happy hour with his friends or co-workers 1-2 times a week. He works downtown - that's what you do. I was just so annoyed with the sudden change in plans. I took it really personally and it was like I was having flashbacks of Donald Trump and every other asshole I've dated.

Of course after a long talk during the ride home, followed up by an apology phone call, various apology texts and some emailing today I feel like I really overreacted. While pretty cool in most situations the Type A in my personality constantly fights to get out and some of that is reflected in my obsession with scheduling my day. I don't like sudden changes. Also, I realize that part of the reason why I was so bummed is that I really was looking forward to seeing him.

Whatever the case things are fine now. After 2 months of seeing each other I figure stuff like this is bound to happen. It's really hard to adjust to a "good" guy after years of dating assholes. It's like I just expect him to treat me like shit. (Yeah, you can call me Captain Crazy.)

Miss Fabulous

Thursday, March 5, 2009

So are you like official official?, Relationship Retardation, and Rotting Eggs

Yes, it's true. BL is now officially BF. I'm still getting used to being with a guy who is genuinely nice. I now realize that my "fears" that BF was initially "too nice" come from the defensive attitude I've developed over the past 3 years of dating assholes. He is very nice, but it's very sincere. Last weekend we went out drinking and I got to meet some of his oldest friends who were all very nice as well and who I got along with fabulously. Tonight BF is coming over and we are making dinner again. Well, actually he is making dinner - I'm making the salad. We are volunteering together Saturday morning with Legal Aid giving free legal advice and later that night we are going to a concert with his sister and her bf. So far everything feels right and good and I'm incredibly happy. I'm still very cautious though - it will take awhile before I trust any guy 100%.

In other news I was having sushi with the girls last night when one of my friends who I haven't talk to in awhile told me her bf had recently dumped her. Apparently he told her that he felt that his 30's were for focusing on his family life and his 20's were for focusing on his career. He is 25 has recently become an attorney and has a great job. I'm not sure if he just used this bs as an excuse to dump her or if he's being serious. One of my girls thinks he's just "relationship retarded." I think if he truly is putting himself on time-lines like that he is generally retarded. I just don't see how the two are mutually exclusive. The girl he dumped, a third year law student herself, understands the pressures and demands of the legal field. She understands working late, being stressed out and needed alone time. If he is going to totally write off relationships for 5 years simply because of this belief I think he will be missing out on a lot. Does anyone else have a time line for themselves? I have another lawyer friend who insisted on being married before she turned 26. She found a guy on match, married him a year later and now they are getting divorced. I just don't think you can force these things.

In related news I have a very interesting family. My Mom's youngest brother has 3 step-children under the age of 25 and 1biological daughter who is 19. Between the 4 children only one is married and they collectively have 9 children. One of the step-daughters has 3 different baby daddys for her 4 children. While I think everyone in the family agrees that this is not an ideal situation (financially or otherwise) no one judges them. My Grandma who is very conservative (Italian, Catholic, etc.) has always treated those 9 children as her own great-grandchildren and has never once judged my cousins for their decisions. Well, my Grandma and Grandpa were out to dinner with my Uncle and his wife (the parents of the baby makers) and my Uncle's wife was going on about why I haven't had children and "what is Miss Fabulous going to wait until she's 30?" No joke. Apparently I didn't realize that my eggs are rotting as I write this. How can someone who has 4 children with GEDs and welfare children judge me when no one in the family judges her. It just blows my mind. I don't care if I have my first child when I'm 40, or not at all. I'm not going to settle for second best just to get married for the sake of being married, or just to get knocked up b/c I'm getting "old." Ridiculous. It just amazes me what people will say to make themselves feel better about their situations.

[end rant]

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I know my fellow Clevelanders will - enjoy the warm weather!! :)


Miss Fabulous

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Baggage.

While I am really into the new guy and am excited about the prospect of being in a happy and serious relationship for the first time in 3 years - I have some baggage. As one can imagine, a lot of "baggage" can accumulate in one's life as a single 20 something over the course of 3 years.

There are a few unresolved minor heart breaks (you know, the ones that never got "closure"), there are those hot out of towners that you hook up with just when they are in town, and there are those guys, like East 4th, who are hot, amazing in bed, and who text at random moments (you know, those moments when you are feeling down and need a guy to treat you like a goddess for a few hours, cuddle and send you on your way). Well last night I was hanging out with BL and I got a text from East 4th inquiring about my Mardi Gras plans. Little does he know that my Mardi Gras plans included making dinner with BL, watching Flight of the Conchords and having hours of steamy new relationship sex. Can anyone fill me in on the correct response for such a text? I chose to ignore because I don't feel like I owe him anything. I also didn't want BL to wonder who I was secretly texting.

Anyways, it made me briefly think of all the randoms in my life and what I would be giving up as a non-single lady. I suddenly realized that I wouldn't be missing much at all. This is how I know that I'm definitely ready for a realtionship with this guy. I'm just unsure of how to tie up all of the loose ends. Am I expected to send out a mass text announcing my relationship? Or perhaps I should just delete the numbers entirely from my phone. I'm not worried about temptation, I'm just worried about the bad chi that having all of that baggage around could cause. I'm also worried about having to explain late night texts/phone calls. That could be awkward. Oh, my life as a recovering dating disaster/whore.

Miss Fabulous

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Laziness.

This is the reason why I have failed to blog lately. Laziness. I apologize for the delay. Also, my dating life has become quite boring now that I'm regularly dating BL. We are pretty much a couple. My first potential relationship in 3 years is very scary! BUT, it's also exciting and fun all at the same time.

Here are some updates:
V-day: BL picked me up, insisted on coming up to get me and brought me roses and a bottle of champagne. Then we went to Bella's house for a pre-dinner gathering. Then, off to dinner at Touch with about 8 other people. The food was amazing! BL got on famously with my friends and their dates. It was a great time. Then home to drink the champagne and partake in other v-day related festivities. I have to tell you that the sex with BL is amazing. This is refreshing especially after my last few experiences. I also really feel like we have a connection and that makes it more passionate and fun.

Pres Day: Since I'm a government employee I was off this past Monday. BL is a very busy trial lawyer so he was not supposed to be off but decided to play hooky and spend the day with me anyways. It was great. We had lunch, got coffee, walked at edgewater and went book shopping like the nerdy lawyers we are. Don't we sound like a couple?

Yesterday I had birthday sushi with a bunch of friends and I invited him but he's been working late all week. Instead of just declining he invited me to stop by his office beforehand so he could show me around and so we could grab a quick cup of coffee. I just think it's so nice of him to try to make time for me even if it's brief. He also did this last Friday when I had evening plans with the girls but found myself having to file a motion at the Justice Center downtown in the afternoon. He made a point of escaping from the office to grab a quick coffee with me. I think it's just cute.

So I think things are looking up in the relationship department. I may, in the near future, need to change the whole premise of the blog. Recovered dating disaster attempts stable, normal relationship? Sounds interesting enough.

Miss Fabulous

Monday, February 9, 2009

Boyfriend material?

Happy news to report! I got a new laptop! Admittedly, I am typing this at work right now, but it's still nice to have something other than my iPhone at home to access the web. It's been a long time since I've been without a home computer for 2 weeks. Anyways, I got the new aluminum 13" macbook and I ♥ it so far!

Ok, so now for the good stuff. It seems like 2 out of the 3 match.com potentials have officially fizzled out. Mr. Officer has been leaving me random facebook messages but no longer texts or calls. Weird. Also, MBA/CPA guy sent me an email on Saturday about possibly meeting up. An email? Honestly? On the weekend? Next.

Now, BL on the other hand - different story. Things are going well - very well - so well that it's almost scary. He may in fact be boyfriend material.

Friday - he made me dinner. It was really good. Then we went to a party hosted by his co-worker and I got to meet the partners in his firm and a bunch of people. It was fun. Saturday, I had girls night and he lives close to downtown so he offered a ride home if I needed. He was out at dinner with a friend and then went home to do some work. (The life of a Plaintiff's lawyer.) I had planned on getting a cab but I got way more drunk than expected at map and liquid and the thought of finding a cab at 2am was daunting. So I called him. When I got into his car he told me it was like I was drugged. I was fine at first and then I was just out of it. He had to pull over so I could puke out the door and he took me home and put me to bed where I puked on myself again so he put me in the tub and changed my sheets and put me back in bed. If that's not all he made me breakfast in the morning and stayed with me until 1:30 the next afternoon to make sure I was ok. Classy. I was soooo embarassed! Believe it or not I never get that sloppy drunk! I think I just got excited b/c it was the first time in awhile many of my law girls were out.

For the record when I say I'm not sure how I got so drunk I mean it. I only spent $10 and my friend "Bella" who I thought was buying my drinks only spent $10.

Anyways, what a great guy. I'm starting to really like him and this weekend he pretty much functioned as a bf. This is very scary to me b/c it's been 3 years since I've had a real bf. I also have only been seeing BL for a couple weeks now. I told him I like to take things slowly. I guess we'll just see how things go. The girls and I are planning a group Valentine's date at Momocho for couples and singles alike. I invited BL and he seemed pretty excited about it.

I really just wish there was a crystal ball for relationships that would let you know in advance if it was going to end in disaster. Wouldn't that make life oh-so-easier?

Miss Fabulous

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

More updates!

I really hate to be so brief but I am crazy busy at work right now. I'm going laptop shopping Friday but I can't keep ya'll in suspense until then now can I? My love life in a nutshell:

Mr. Officer: Not much to report. This is very disappointing. Nothing but random meaningless texts all weekend. The last text I received at 2:48 am early Sunday morning said [Miss Fabulous]! so I wrote back [Mr. Officer]! first thing in the morning when I woke up. Not sure what that meant so I sent him a text last night that simply read, "You don't call me anymore = :(". He called me immediately. He informed me that "phone devices work both ways." Is he right? Should I have called him? I mean we've only hung out twice. I think the ball is still in his court as far as phone calling goes, ESPECIALLY since he is the one with the crazy sleep/work schedule. I've done my part by responding to texts and sending him a good luck text for his Friday soccer game. I am really just thinking the maturity level is not there. Boo.

BL: Lolita on Saturday was amazing. The food was great and I think we really had a good time. We went to Market Ave after for another glass and not only would he not let me pay for a thing but he insisted on dropping me off and picking me up at the door so I wouldn't have to walk in the snowy cold as there was no valet at Market Ave. Now this is where it gets interesting.... he has not only invited me to a party on Friday where several of his co-workers and partners from his firm will be (and they are "so excited" to meet me) but he has invited me to lunch on President's Day b/c I told him I was off of work. Planning dates two weeks in advance is a bit scary to someone who's last situation revolved around last minute dates and overall lack of enthusiasm. Maybe it's something I just need to get used to.

Luke: No, don't worry, you haven't missed anything. Luke is not a love interest (yet) but rather the new Br♥mantical interest of Brody Jenner. Yes, I predicted it. I'm so happy he won. I know it means absolutely nothing but I can't help but feel proud that I actually predicted a reality TV win from the get go. I think this was the first ever. In case you missed last night's season finale of Br♥mance, Andy at Wild ARS Chase always comes through with a great play by play.


Miss Fabulous

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Quick update

Not having a computer at home is really cramping my style. I do have some updates to share. BL had to cancel our Tuesday dinner/CAVS plans. He got really sick on Monday. Although this was highly unnecessary he insisted meeting me at Starbucks Tuesday evening for tea/coffee on his way home from the doctor. I think just to prove to me that he wasn't trying to blow me off. He also invited me to dinner Saturday. We're going to Lolita and that's all I know so far. Sounds good to me. Things are going well but he's already piling it on rather thick. This may just be his style and/or I'm just used to guys who like to play games and act like assholes.

I also hung out with Mr. Officer again Monday night. He, on the otherhand, is very hard to read. We have fun hanging out but I don't get any vibes that he is interested in dating. He seems very.... 24. He informed me the other night that he just booked a trip to New Orleans in late February for Mardis Gras with his buddy. His facebook status was consequently updated to something announcing his trip and also something along the lines of "boobies, boobies, boobies". Classy. I mean, he's 24 so what else should I expect? I might be putting him in the friend zone. I mean it doesn't hurt to have friends who are police officers, right?

I also have been texting/emailing with MBA/CPA but nothing to report. He sent me a random email two days ago that went something along the lines of "Hey, haven't talk to you in a couple days - what's new?" I wrote back, "Hey, nothing new here. Everything is good. I'm having a busy week at work and I can't stand the weather!" "How are you?" and nothing since then. I don't know if he is waiting for me to make a move and ask him out or something but I don't work like that. At least unless I know that I'm already possibly interested - but with this guy there is just nothing so far.

I just have to keep reminding myself that I met all 3 of these guys on match.com. Sigh.

Miss Fabulous