I may be too crazy to have a boyfriend.

Happy belated St. Patrick's Day everyone!! I hope you all threw back some Guiness while I slaved away at work.

So, last night after my traditional Irish feast with the family and a quick workout I had planned on a nice, quiet evening at home with BF finishing movies he insisted on renting over the weekend. I partied a little hard this weekend and was quite content with skipping out on the St. Pat's festivities. Yesterday afternoon he informs me he is going to happy hour and invites me along. I decline, and ask him if he wants to adjust our plans so that I can adjust the rest of my night - he says no.

Fast forward to 7:30 when I am getting out the shower and into my pjs (he was supposed to come over at 8) when he texts, tells me he is too drunk to drive home and let's link up tomorrow, hope that's ok. Like hell that's ok. So, since he was at maproom, and so were my girlfriends, and since there is no way I am sitting at home by myself after I had planned my whole night around him I text him to tell him I am coming out. He is fine with this. When I got there things were awkward though. I was just so annoyed that I couldn't hide it. I clung to my girls and tried to have a great time with them.

He felt awful (b/c I was doing a great job of making him feel awful) about the whole situation.

I really don't care about him hanging out with his friends. I trust him 100%. He goes to happy hour with his friends or co-workers 1-2 times a week. He works downtown - that's what you do. I was just so annoyed with the sudden change in plans. I took it really personally and it was like I was having flashbacks of Donald Trump and every other asshole I've dated.

Of course after a long talk during the ride home, followed up by an apology phone call, various apology texts and some emailing today I feel like I really overreacted. While pretty cool in most situations the Type A in my personality constantly fights to get out and some of that is reflected in my obsession with scheduling my day. I don't like sudden changes. Also, I realize that part of the reason why I was so bummed is that I really was looking forward to seeing him.

Whatever the case things are fine now. After 2 months of seeing each other I figure stuff like this is bound to happen. It's really hard to adjust to a "good" guy after years of dating assholes. It's like I just expect him to treat me like shit. (Yeah, you can call me Captain Crazy.)

♥ Miss Fabulous

I love my girls!

I personally have never understood why there are some women who really do not get along with other women. Please don't be offended if you are one of those girls, I'm just being honest here and saying I don't understand. I've always been a girls' girl. Sure, women like drama - we cause drama, we breed drama, we sometimes enjoy the drama of others, etc. Women can also be moody, catty and bitchy - but there is something special about a bond between female friends that is so special.

Through the years I've always had a tight knit group of ladies by my side. In grade school there were 8 of us. Myself, my current BFF and 6 others girls that I went to school with K-8 at a small Catholic elementary in Cleveland. We called ourselves the "Munchichis" (after a popular cartoon from our youth) and were inseperable. At a time when I was a chubby and awkward child these girls really pulled me through - especially as I experienced tough times like the death of my mother and having to be raised by my grandparents.

In high school I couldn't help but make friends with great girls (all girls school) - the friends I made in high school were not the prettiest, the coolest or the most popular, but they were, for the most part, honest and sincere girls who made high school one of the better times in my life. I am still very close with 2 girls from my high school.

Now, college is a different story because I didn't have a traditional college experience. I moved out after high school and lived in an apartment with BFF. I went to school full time at a small private liberal arts university on Cleveland's eastside and I commuted. I was also working full time so I would arrange my classes such that there would be no time for long breaks in between and what little breaks I did have I would spend doing school work. For the first few years of college I was so busy and stressed out that I didn't put a lot of effort into any of my friendships and I went through some inner struggles, but my BFF and my highschool BFFs kept me sane, and I love them for it.

Enter law school. For those of you who have never gone to law school it is just like high school, but with more sex and alcohol. In your first year you have classes every day (5 total) and you share the classes with the same 75 people. It's like in grade school when your whole class would move to the room next door for a different subject. I was blessed to be stuck in a section with 9 girls who are not only smart and beautiful but who are really nice and super fun people. Somehow we lumped ourselves together and bonded instantly. Law school was the best time of my life due in large part to them. Sure, we've had high school drama. For instance, everyone in law school knows each other, we spend a million hours of week with each other, and then we socialize with each other. Therefore, people date around a lot within the school. This made for some interesting situations with guys especially when your girl friends are gorgeous! (My one friend and I have shared 5 guys). But you just deal with it, and you learn how to communicate when someone pisses you off.

I really didn't meant to get all sentimental on you, but I was just really thinking about this last night when I was at Sushi Rock. As always, we had a great time talking about our dating disasters, or successes, our jobs or lack of jobs, talking shit about some people not present.... ya know. Good old fashioned girl fun.Also, I showed my friends a myspace pic of Donald Trump's new gf on my phone and they all agreed that "she" looks like a horse, (actually, some said witch) and that no way is she as hot as me. I love them.

Also, since I'm on the subject I have to point out that we were a big group so we got stuck in the little room in the upstairs back of Sushi Rock and there was a table of hot guys right across from us. Then my friend went over to say hi to them and I found out that the hottest one is the boyfriend of a girl we are somewhat friends with, my friend who has been sitting next to me has slept with the other hot one, and the less hot one who had his back turned to us the whole time may/may not have been the guy that my other friend randomly slept with on a balcony one time. Sigh. I need a new town I think, I wish I didn't ♥ Cleveland so damn much!

♥ Miss Fabulous

Well, that explains it...

Just got done doing some facebooking when the mini-feed informed me that Donald Trump is "in a relationship." (Note: mini-feed doesn't differentiate between homosexual and heterosexual relationships.)

So, since him and I stoppped speaking a mere two weeks ago I can only assume that he was seeing her concurrently.. which is fine b/c we never had the "talk."

(Actually, it makes me sick to my stomach.)

In retrospect I know it wasn't right but it still sucks.

In better news I'm going to hangout with Airforce tonight. He's one of my oldest friends, and an old flame. He lives in Texas and is actually going back tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a great night!

♥ Miss Fabulous

One more thing...

In honor of the outgoing year I've made a list of all my dating (or not so much dating but ya know...) disasters...complete with a brief one line summation of something I really wanted to say to them but never did. A fairwell of sorts. Out with the old, in with the new!

• The Human Smooshmortion: I don't mean to be controversial here, but your length was such that I didn't even need a pap smear this year - in fact you may have actually ripped my uterus out one night which might explain why you abruptly stopped calling me - I would like it back please, along with the two months of my life I wasted on you.
  
• Youngstown: I knew it was a bad idea to try to relive our past relationship, but sometimes bad feels so good - I still miss you.
  
• The Cousin (not mine!): I wish I wouldn't have taken you to that Cavs game - what a waste of money.
  
• East 4th: You are the slimiest creep I have ever met - but the sex was mind blowing - will you marry me?
• Airforce: I'm glad we got to celebrate your recent divorce - I'm not saying goodbye to you, you are my friend for life.
• The Russian: I'm sorry I didn't become your next tattoo - actually I'm not - but at least you have that dent in your car to remember me by.
  
• Prius: I'm sorry I wasn't into you, you are a great guy and I wish you the best.
  
• Monday Night Football: I will never forget the night the Browns beat the Giants - I couldn't walk for days - thank you for that.
  
• Donald Trump: I'm really not sure why, but I thought I really liked you, I now think maybe I should get my head checked - also you should maybe think about coming out of any closets you may/may not be hiding in - just sayin'.
• Sweet 16: I personally think it's normal and expected to have sex with the first person you ever had sex with 10 years later just to see how much we have learned - not that I would ever date you again...ever...as it seems that I have matured in these past 10 years and you have not.
  
• Florida: I wish you didn't live in Florida.

What a sad list! I certainly need to raise the bar in 2009. Hope everyone has a fabulous NYE!!

♥ Miss Fabulous

Flavored condoms?

I don't know how I left this out of my first post regarding Donald Trump, but the first time we had sex at his place he whipped out flavored condoms. This is the same guy who was incredibly boring and bad in bed. I made some sort of joke about them and he said that he grabs them off of bachelorette party goers out at the bar. (Was he serious?) But, anyways... flavored condoms?

One thing I should be up front about is that I always use condoms unless I'm in a committed relationship (See: my life over 3 years ago). I'm on nuva ring too because of its hormonal benefits and because I don't want to get pregnant right now under any circumstance. (This should be obvious based on the kinds of guys I date.) But, condoms are a MUST b/c STDs are totally not fabulous at all. **End PSA**

Anyways, I'm going to be honest - the flavored condoms freaked me out a bit. I mean, I know they are probably just as safe, but the idea is strange. Also, I prefer just the bare bones plain kind b/c I get recurrent UTIs and things like flavors and spremicides tend to trigger them. I mean I could even understand the flavored condoms if he was younger, but for a 27 year old man? It just doesn't make sense. Note: Just in case you are wondering I must add that I know for a fact that his affinity for flavored condoms was not in any way connected to the fact that he might actually want to go down on me after and enjoy the taste for himself. Because, he didn't. Not once.

♥ Miss Fabulous

"I knew I would meet someone I like up here."

Well, I had a great date with Florida last night. This should be obvious because of the fact that he lives in Florida. We ate sushi and drank wine and then went a couple doors down to see his friend who was "spinning records." His friends were cool, of course we realized we had friends in common (this town is way small) and after a few shots and a few vodka sodas I ended up spending the night with him in his hotel. (Disclaimer - while I am trying to avoid this type of behavior I figure he doesn't really count because he lives in Florida.) We even got breakfast this morning and he pretended not to notice that I am apparently coming down with a cold and my nose would not stop running. He says he knew he would meet someone up here that he liked and he's sorry he's not staying longer. I'm just relieved that I'm capable of going on a good date and having fun and carrying a good conversation. (I was worried about some of these things post Donald Trump.)

In unrelated news, one of my oldest and dearest friends/childhood crush turned random hookups (who incidentally my BFF thinks, for various reasons I'm destined to marry) who I'll call Airforce is home for the Holidays and wants to hang out. Of course he does. Looks like I'm going to have a busy week. I hope this cold goes away quickly.
♥ Miss Fabulous

The Sunshine State

Christmas Eve Eve in Cleveland was an icy weather disaster that almost put an early end to my pre-Christmas celebration. (Read: drunken foolishness with my friends) However, I put on my boots and slid my way to the bar. We went to Around the Corner, a classy neighborhood drinking establishment in hopes of socializing with a college break crowd. Instead I ended up meeting two guys, slightly older and home for the Holidays named Florida and California respectively for obvious reasons. I'm not sure if it was the Christmas Ale or what but Florida seemed somewhat cute and datable, so when he asked me out to dinner tonight I didn't even hesitate. Sure, he will be traveling back to his southern habitat in a matter of days, but I could use the practice. Besides, in the two days since we've met he's already been a better communicator than Donald Trump was over the course of two months. I'm not sure yet where we're going, but if he knows what is good for him it'll be a classy place and he will be a perfect gentleman. **UPDATE: Incoming text from Florida says Sushi Rock.** This guy is perfect. Of course he lives in Flordia I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.
♥ Miss Fabulous

Either you're gay or I'm just a whore...

So, for the past two months I've been seeing someone who I shall refer to as Donald Trump. Donald Trump evidently has a lot of money, and likes to talk about it. This should have been a red flag, but besides that he was great on paper. He had a good job, good hygiene, Italian, Catholic, fairly attractive, etc. I met him at a party through mutual friends while highly intoxicated. Like usual I ended up taking him home and figured he would be just another poor choice to forget. But, he asked for my number and called me a couple days later to set up a date. The problem was the date was a wedding 4 weeks in the future. (Was this warning sign number 2?!) Put on the spot I agreed to go after confirming that the wedding was not a family wedding (I've gotten into that mess before). In the meantime we went out a few times. He was not much of a communication guy, but I was quick to forgive because when we did spend time together we had fun, and he liked to hang out with me in a fully clothed state, and this is rare.

Anyways, the sex was bad - like super bad in a I thought it really would get better and never did sorta bad. He was boring and when I tried to spice things up he acted annoyed and looked at me like no straight man would look at a girl in such a situation. As the weeks went by and his hot/cold tendencies proved to be more cold than hot I couldn't understand why this guy who seemingly had no interest in sleeping with me, and no interest in making an emotional connection with me would still even make a half assed effort to talk to me. And then it really made me question whether he was having issues with his sexuality, or if I was being too much of a whore. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a very sexual person, but I've never found this to be a problem, at least as far as random hookups were concerned. Is it possible to be too slutty for a real relationship? I mean, we're not talking about anything freaky, but just a healthy sexual energy. On the other hand, he was very defensive when his friends joked about his sexuality after he spent $1500 on a Versace blazer on Black Friday, and he was super uncomfortable when discussing his Mom, who is a lesbian and has a life partner. (Red flags??)



Last week Donald Trump apparently decided he was over it. Of course I'm just speculating based on the 6 hours it took him to respond to my last text, and the lame excuse he gave for not wanting to hang out. I have to point out that this was the first time in 3 years and a whole list of guys that I was even considering settling down and getting involved in a relationship. I really did like him, or at least the idea of him. I also really felt like I had lowered my standards, and had come to peace with it. (This may be why I'm trying to make him gay to explain away the surprise rejection.) This disaster has since inspired me to give up some of my crazy party girl habits and take a different approach to dating. I'm going to try to go on a lot of dates and do things the right way. I think I need a lot of practice. This should get interesting. Lucky you.
♥ Miss Fabulous