Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I may be too crazy to have a boyfriend.

Happy belated St. Patrick's Day everyone!! I hope you all threw back some Guiness while I slaved away at work.

So, last night after my traditional Irish feast with the family and a quick workout I had planned on a nice, quiet evening at home with BF finishing movies he insisted on renting over the weekend. I partied a little hard this weekend and was quite content with skipping out on the St. Pat's festivities. Yesterday afternoon he informs me he is going to happy hour and invites me along. I decline, and ask him if he wants to adjust our plans so that I can adjust the rest of my night - he says no.

Fast forward to 7:30 when I am getting out the shower and into my pjs (he was supposed to come over at 8) when he texts, tells me he is too drunk to drive home and let's link up tomorrow, hope that's ok. Like hell that's ok. So, since he was at maproom, and so were my girlfriends, and since there is no way I am sitting at home by myself after I had planned my whole night around him I text him to tell him I am coming out. He is fine with this. When I got there things were awkward though. I was just so annoyed that I couldn't hide it. I clung to my girls and tried to have a great time with them.

He felt awful (b/c I was doing a great job of making him feel awful) about the whole situation.

I really don't care about him hanging out with his friends. I trust him 100%. He goes to happy hour with his friends or co-workers 1-2 times a week. He works downtown - that's what you do. I was just so annoyed with the sudden change in plans. I took it really personally and it was like I was having flashbacks of Donald Trump and every other asshole I've dated.

Of course after a long talk during the ride home, followed up by an apology phone call, various apology texts and some emailing today I feel like I really overreacted. While pretty cool in most situations the Type A in my personality constantly fights to get out and some of that is reflected in my obsession with scheduling my day. I don't like sudden changes. Also, I realize that part of the reason why I was so bummed is that I really was looking forward to seeing him.

Whatever the case things are fine now. After 2 months of seeing each other I figure stuff like this is bound to happen. It's really hard to adjust to a "good" guy after years of dating assholes. It's like I just expect him to treat me like shit. (Yeah, you can call me Captain Crazy.)

Miss Fabulous

Thursday, March 5, 2009

So are you like official official?, Relationship Retardation, and Rotting Eggs

Yes, it's true. BL is now officially BF. I'm still getting used to being with a guy who is genuinely nice. I now realize that my "fears" that BF was initially "too nice" come from the defensive attitude I've developed over the past 3 years of dating assholes. He is very nice, but it's very sincere. Last weekend we went out drinking and I got to meet some of his oldest friends who were all very nice as well and who I got along with fabulously. Tonight BF is coming over and we are making dinner again. Well, actually he is making dinner - I'm making the salad. We are volunteering together Saturday morning with Legal Aid giving free legal advice and later that night we are going to a concert with his sister and her bf. So far everything feels right and good and I'm incredibly happy. I'm still very cautious though - it will take awhile before I trust any guy 100%.

In other news I was having sushi with the girls last night when one of my friends who I haven't talk to in awhile told me her bf had recently dumped her. Apparently he told her that he felt that his 30's were for focusing on his family life and his 20's were for focusing on his career. He is 25 has recently become an attorney and has a great job. I'm not sure if he just used this bs as an excuse to dump her or if he's being serious. One of my girls thinks he's just "relationship retarded." I think if he truly is putting himself on time-lines like that he is generally retarded. I just don't see how the two are mutually exclusive. The girl he dumped, a third year law student herself, understands the pressures and demands of the legal field. She understands working late, being stressed out and needed alone time. If he is going to totally write off relationships for 5 years simply because of this belief I think he will be missing out on a lot. Does anyone else have a time line for themselves? I have another lawyer friend who insisted on being married before she turned 26. She found a guy on match, married him a year later and now they are getting divorced. I just don't think you can force these things.

In related news I have a very interesting family. My Mom's youngest brother has 3 step-children under the age of 25 and 1biological daughter who is 19. Between the 4 children only one is married and they collectively have 9 children. One of the step-daughters has 3 different baby daddys for her 4 children. While I think everyone in the family agrees that this is not an ideal situation (financially or otherwise) no one judges them. My Grandma who is very conservative (Italian, Catholic, etc.) has always treated those 9 children as her own great-grandchildren and has never once judged my cousins for their decisions. Well, my Grandma and Grandpa were out to dinner with my Uncle and his wife (the parents of the baby makers) and my Uncle's wife was going on about why I haven't had children and "what is Miss Fabulous going to wait until she's 30?" No joke. Apparently I didn't realize that my eggs are rotting as I write this. How can someone who has 4 children with GEDs and welfare children judge me when no one in the family judges her. It just blows my mind. I don't care if I have my first child when I'm 40, or not at all. I'm not going to settle for second best just to get married for the sake of being married, or just to get knocked up b/c I'm getting "old." Ridiculous. It just amazes me what people will say to make themselves feel better about their situations.

[end rant]

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I know my fellow Clevelanders will - enjoy the warm weather!! :)

Miss Fabulous