Thursday, March 5, 2009

So are you like official official?, Relationship Retardation, and Rotting Eggs

Yes, it's true. BL is now officially BF. I'm still getting used to being with a guy who is genuinely nice. I now realize that my "fears" that BF was initially "too nice" come from the defensive attitude I've developed over the past 3 years of dating assholes. He is very nice, but it's very sincere. Last weekend we went out drinking and I got to meet some of his oldest friends who were all very nice as well and who I got along with fabulously. Tonight BF is coming over and we are making dinner again. Well, actually he is making dinner - I'm making the salad. We are volunteering together Saturday morning with Legal Aid giving free legal advice and later that night we are going to a concert with his sister and her bf. So far everything feels right and good and I'm incredibly happy. I'm still very cautious though - it will take awhile before I trust any guy 100%.

In other news I was having sushi with the girls last night when one of my friends who I haven't talk to in awhile told me her bf had recently dumped her. Apparently he told her that he felt that his 30's were for focusing on his family life and his 20's were for focusing on his career. He is 25 has recently become an attorney and has a great job. I'm not sure if he just used this bs as an excuse to dump her or if he's being serious. One of my girls thinks he's just "relationship retarded." I think if he truly is putting himself on time-lines like that he is generally retarded. I just don't see how the two are mutually exclusive. The girl he dumped, a third year law student herself, understands the pressures and demands of the legal field. She understands working late, being stressed out and needed alone time. If he is going to totally write off relationships for 5 years simply because of this belief I think he will be missing out on a lot. Does anyone else have a time line for themselves? I have another lawyer friend who insisted on being married before she turned 26. She found a guy on match, married him a year later and now they are getting divorced. I just don't think you can force these things.

In related news I have a very interesting family. My Mom's youngest brother has 3 step-children under the age of 25 and 1biological daughter who is 19. Between the 4 children only one is married and they collectively have 9 children. One of the step-daughters has 3 different baby daddys for her 4 children. While I think everyone in the family agrees that this is not an ideal situation (financially or otherwise) no one judges them. My Grandma who is very conservative (Italian, Catholic, etc.) has always treated those 9 children as her own great-grandchildren and has never once judged my cousins for their decisions. Well, my Grandma and Grandpa were out to dinner with my Uncle and his wife (the parents of the baby makers) and my Uncle's wife was going on about why I haven't had children and "what is Miss Fabulous going to wait until she's 30?" No joke. Apparently I didn't realize that my eggs are rotting as I write this. How can someone who has 4 children with GEDs and welfare children judge me when no one in the family judges her. It just blows my mind. I don't care if I have my first child when I'm 40, or not at all. I'm not going to settle for second best just to get married for the sake of being married, or just to get knocked up b/c I'm getting "old." Ridiculous. It just amazes me what people will say to make themselves feel better about their situations.

[end rant]

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I know my fellow Clevelanders will - enjoy the warm weather!! :)


Miss Fabulous

3 comments:

  1. First, your grandma seems really nice, its hard not to judge people like that sometimes... (I have something similar in my family) And 30? Man, I'm thinking like 32-34 seems good, kid wise. eesh.

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  2. were you at sushi rock? love that place. you should've told her you'll start having kids when she stops.

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