Tuesday, December 30, 2008

And the winner is...

I had a lot to choose from but if I had to pick just one winner for Mr. Dating Disaster 2008 it would have to be UVA. UVA wasn't even a dating disaster per se, but merely a one night hook up disaster. However, the impact of his disaster lasted for about a week and caused more trauma than most.

I met UVA at a softball tourney at the University of Virginia. He was actually the roomate of one of my teamates brought along to be an extra in case we needed him. He was not that cute at first, but after a night of partying in Virginia bars I didn't stop him when he wanted to make out with me. He actually ended up in my bed b/c his roomate was busy with my roomate in their room. Making out was fun. He seemed to have an ear fetish and I thought nothing of it. He just loved to kiss and suck on my ears. It was strange, but I was too drunk to even care.

The next morning we got up at the crack of dawn to get suited up for our long day of softball games and as I pulled my hair back my friend who was sharing the bathroom mirror with me was like "wtf is wrong with your ears?" My ear lobes were both so incredibly black and blue. I've never seen anything like it ever in my life. I mean, I had EAR HICKEYS. Seriously? Who does that? Hickeys in general are unacceptable in my book let alone on my freakin' ears! Worst part was that I can't exactly play softball with my long hair flying everywhere. My friend (God bless her soul) tried to help me cover it up with some concealer (I know it usually doesn't help, but I had to do something!). They were black and blue on both sides! and EVERYONE noticed. I almost felt bad for UVA b/c the guys were just ripping him apart.

I really wish I had taken pictures but at the time I was just so mortified. I could wait to get back to the hotel that night and pull my hair down and over my poor ears. The black and blue ears lasted for a whole week when we got home, and the humiliation will last a lifetime.

Needless to say I never talked to that boy again. I saw him a couple times at school functions he attended with his roomate and I just had so much anger bottled up inside I felt like it would be better for his health if I just avoided him.

So congratulations Mr. Ear Sucker, you just won the prized award of this year.

Happy New Year everyone!

Miss Fabulous