Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Year's Eve 2009 = EPIC FAIL

Just when I'm all geared up to start 2009 on a good note things go horribly wrong, and I mean horribly.

So I met a guy at the bar last night - slightly after midnight. He was with his friends. He seemed nice, we bonded because we both currently work in government. He lives close, and was tall and cute. So I suggest that we go back to my apartment building to go to my BFF's apartment and play "Rockband." No one else wanted to go, so it was just us. BFF wasn't home - she was at work, but I have her keys, and her blessing to enter to use her Wii at my leisure.

So, guy (to be named later so as not to ruin the story) and I play Rockband and realize we are too drunk to play Rockband and retreat to my apartment.

Next morning BFF sends funny text about my late night Rockband session. Then calls soon after to ask who all was over and if I happened to see her brand new iPod Touch lying around b/c she cannot find it.

Overwhelmed with a gut wrenching sickness I tell her of course I saw it. It was right out on a table, totally not missable. I took notice of it b/c I have an iPhone and I thought for a split second it was my phone.

I run downstairs while the guy is still in my bed and alas the iPod is not there. I run back upstairs and my heart is beating. Like this asshole has just stolen BFF's brand new $300 iPod touch and what the fuck am I supposed to do now? So by this time he is up and in my bathroom so I fumble through his pants pockets (conveniently on my floor) and nothing. I check his shirt just as he walks in and I pretend to be straightening up. He's not acting weird so I just keep on praying that BFF calls to tell me she has found the iPod. I run into the other room and check his shoes. All signs negative. I am frantic and just have no idea what to do. Here I invited this outright stranger into my friend's apartment and he has apparently just stolen something from her. Who does that? Especially after I just got done raving to him about how this girl is my BFF/longest friend ever/soul mate, etc.

So as I am saying goodbye I seriously pat him down and NOTHING. I don't know where he has this thing but it has to be somewhere. Should I have confronted him? I thought that could get awkward and he was like 6'6" and probably had almost 100 pounds on me. I'm giving BFF one more day to locate the thing, but I'm afraid that this guy, who I'm going to officially call Clepto, has stolen it, and he's probably not going to call, and if he does I will call him a fucking slimy iPod thief and tell him I hope he chokes on it.

Guess I'm going to the Apple Store tomorrow.

Maybe this is God's way of telling me not to sleep with strangers. I think I may heed this warning.
Miss Fabulous


  1. well shit! i hope it's under her couch or something.

    i mean if you checked him you checked him right?

  2. Alexa - I don't know! We checked EVERYWHERE - and I KNOW I saw it sitting in one particular place. I checked him as good as I can, but I mean if this guy is a serious clepto he may have like secret compartments or something! It's inexplicable! BTW - I ♥ your blog!

  3. I hope your BFF finds her iPod Touch. If she doesn't I'll help you find Clepto and kick his ass! What a shithead, especially since you told him that this was your BFF!

  4. Perhaps he hid it, drug mule style.

  5. Andy - you are right - it's a distinct possibility. For the record, I did NOT check there, nor any other body cavities.

  6. Oh no, that's horrible...but I do love your blog :)

  7. well... i wont guess the whereabouts of ur ipod, but i wud say i visited ur blog impressed by the name and liked it too !

  8. Damn. Well I had to punch my New Year's Eve random-guy-from-bar in the face shortly after our midnight kiss...

    I think we deserve a do-over.

    I'm happy to punch Clepto in the face for you, now that I know I can make it hurt! :)

  9. i was totally going to go for the body cavity suggestion myself. are you sure it didn't get knocked behind a table or something? if he did steal it then... geez, i mean, who DOES THAT? what a douche bag!

    p.s. rock band is AWESOME!!!